It has been a long time since I’ve written my emotions down. I just don’t have the time or maybe, I just grew out of it. I grew out of my damaged soul, my messy emotions and recurring thoughts.
I remember those nightmare days. The moment when I open my eyes, and I feel like dying. Days where I seek sleep as a refuge. My thoughts were chaotic and all I could think of was to avoid, avoid and avoid. I lost my appetite, I lost the meaning of everything. Drowning in the shallow waters of depression, not even attempting to struggle or call for help. I bleed and I bleed, hoping to bleed out the sadness in me. Injecting positivity in my veins every now and then. Everything that was done, was futile. I moped around, I sob uncontrollably, I… waited.
Those were the days where I struggled to find myself. Now I’m defined and awake. Awake from the nightmares of yesterday. To embrace a whole new day, although sometimes it seems hard to do so. I guess you could say I grew out of it. I grew up one day and decided to face everything face on and to straighten myself. To try and not be emotionally damaged, although I fall back again sometimes. But I’m great, I’m doing great. I stopped self deluding and found myself. The person I should and have always been.
